Before you make your vows- Aderonke Adeyeye
- “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
Lots of folks dress gorgeously, walk before a priest, share a kiss and seal their lives with these words.
Forgetting there is a lot to these sacred vows than meet the eyes and ears. These are not just words you say just to get the ceremony over with or words you say because it’s a part of the wedding arrangement. These are words that lots of married folks ought to tuck safely in a corner of their heart to ruminate on time to time.
When couples says “it’s for better, for worse”…. what they are vowing, is to stick by each other during the good, the bad and the ugly days. Days when the clouds are thick and days when the sun is smiling. They have vowed to stay and work it out, with the goal of making it work.
“For richer, for poorer”… entails the couple to stand by each other regardless of their financial status. They are meant to drink the garri and sugar together in love when there is nothing and eat the fried rice and chicken together in love when there is plenty.
“In sickness and in health”… means you’re both sticking by each other in love, regardless of the sickness ravaging your home. No half of the team is backing off or running off when things go sour health wise. You’re a team and should act like one during this period.
“Till death do you part”… Death is the only bridge that is allowed to come in between your union. Death is the only thing allowed to separate the partners physically, not divorce, money, sickness or pressures from outsiders.
This is the purpose of THE VOW. This is why it is sacred and shouldn’t be taken for granted. That’s why it is alarming to see couples say these words, and still do the exact opposite of what they had vowed to do.
A little financial problems has caused families to be separated. Sickness has seen couples leaving each other to go be with some other person. And you wonder where everything went wrong.
It’s not enough to decide to spend forever with a man / woman, it’s not enough to judge your union based on the current feelings and emotions, have you thought of how it’s going to play out in years to come?
Have you sat and asked yourself if that person you’re taking down the aisle, is the one you want to see every sun rise and sun set with, regardless of whatever happens along the way? Do you foresee problems? Do you see your attitude and feelings changing for that person?
These and more are the questions intending couples should ask themselves before taking those vows.
Marriage is not relationship. You can make promises while dating. But marital vows are not vows you make to break.
Ponder on this before you take those vows.