To be or not to be sexually active while dating

If you have been hopping on Twitter trends in recent times, you would have noticed ‘unpopular opinions.’  There was a tweet asking for unpopular opinions about dating and somehow it got around to a debate on the propriety of an unmarried person being sexually active before marriage. Yea, discussions on dating almost always comes right down to sex.

This is surely not a new debate on Twitter however, this particular one came with an angle on intimacy and friendship as detailed on the tweet below.

Dating without sex builds deeper intimacy and a friendship that’s altogether good for your relationship.

— Eketi (@eketiette) May 28, 2018

Some tweeps sided with the view expressed in the tweet above. They stated that removing sex from the equation while dating gives room for a better development of friendship and leads to greater and more substantive intimacy devoid of the engulfing shadow of sex. See some tweets in response to the tweet above-

True, dating without sex is unpopular and helps to build deeper intimacy and friendship. The missing point is that its hard to do it without surrendering your life to Christ. With Christ, it becomes the norm with many rewards

— DJ Flo (@folaeclipse) May 29, 2018

And someone is getting pressured-

Me and my girlfriend agree not to have sex until after marriage.Yesterday, she told me she wants to get married before July.

— 33_roosterz (@gjoshuae1) May 29, 2018

One tweep tried it and said he’s getting married-

Tried this and it worked wonders

— Alphas FC | Oseghale (@Proud_Ose) May 28, 2018

Some others were of the opinion that sex before marriage doesn’t signal the death of a relationship. The important thing was being happy and satisfied with someone who respects you. See tweets-

Dear LadiesA guy can have sex with you on the first date and end up marrying you. He can also wait a year and dump you after having sex. You can never measure a persons capabilities by mere parameters of time. Pray you meet a Guy with a pure heart that’ll love and respect you.

— Miss George (@asikiyageorge54) May 28, 2018

But sex is yet another level of intimacy I feel we should all reach when dating. Knowing how to pleasure your S/O both physically and mentally tops just knowing them mentally.

— F L O W E R (@PIN3_APPLES) May 29, 2018

And you know someone had to twist that tweet-

Dating without the guy having to spend a dime builds deeper intimacy and a friendship that’s altogether good for the relationship

— Shannara (@tadvosm) May 28, 2018

From all of the above, I could deduce that somehow it turned into a discussion implying that sex is what ladies give and what men take -a perspective that has always pervaded relationships and has refused to be shaken- I will always announce it wherever necessary that a man and a woman have sex, nobody is collecting and nobody is taking. It is a mutual act. However, this will form a post for another day.

So what do you think? Is sex just for the marriage bed? Is there any justification for avoiding sex before marriage asides from biblical injunctions? Does abstinence really build intimacy and friendship?

I feel people would always do what they feel is best (or even worst) for them in any given situation. Human beings have free will and will exercise it in the way they see fit. It is easy to understand the opinion that sex distracts from the friendship and other levels of intimacy in a relationship because a lot of people cannot see beyond it. It is also easy to understand other opinions of people who crave intimacy at its highest point and would never really feel home if they don’t. And then, there are others who just see sex as sports and would play in any circumstances.

I would say to each his own, find your type and bask in the glory of it.

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